Trip Over the Truth
Can anyone change your mind but you?
Suffering from “The Curse of Knowing” isn’t the development of our relationship made more difficult by the nature of our exchanges? Is our relationship better served by telling each other things or by asking questions to help each other understand things? Can you relate to Spencer Johnson’s quote from “The One Minute Sales Person” “While almost everyone likes to buy, almost no one likes to be sold?” When I tell you things am I not essentially discounting you implying that I’m smarter than you are? Isn’t your typical response that of becoming defensive to protect your sense of self? How much of what I have to say might you be interested in listening to right after I tell you your stupid?
Do you recall “Columbo”, the TV detective character who consistently discounted himself attempting to enlist others to help him understand things he found puzzling? What were the benefits of his method?
While the Heath Brothers, Chip & Dan, have written several books, Made to Stick, Switch, Decisive, The Power of Moments, and Upstream might they all be chapters in a single book on change? While each book is considered marvelous by many, couldn’t each one be distilled down to a very succinct paragraph? Would they be useful in that form?
Might it be that The Power of Moments was partially responsible for my transition from being a systems thinker to a storyteller? Are you not the only one in a position to change your mind? And might the only really aid I provide be to provoke thought? And might the following be far easier to describe than to actually enact? Might storytelling be a very useful road to follow?
What perspectives might evolve the understanding?
Link List…
The Curse of Knowing a Musing by Gene Bellinger
The One Minute Sales Person by Spencer Johnson
Columbo NBC Detective Series of the 1970s
Made to Stick, Switch, Decisive, The Power of Moments, and Upstream by Chip & Dan Heath
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Am just finishing listening to Isaacson's brilliant Ben Franklin biography. Franklin, the master diplomat and consensus builder, used a non-confrontive, non-advocating style. He used Socratic method, and told many stories, and sometimes would write anonymous articles in his paper, using humour or satire to make his points. He was patient, a wonderful listener, and masterful in reading the receptive flow of his colleagues. He sensed the precise time to introduce, ever an old idea once rejecteed, but now just right to bring compromise. Gracious, self-deprecating, and generally warm in nature...and he accomplished so much.
That said, I often feel this urge to prove how smart I am, and to advocate too strongly and too much. I have a lot to learn in this area. So thanks to Isaacson and to you Gene for reminding me, to listen more and to find engaging relevant stories.
Not knowing might be a bigger curse than knowing. Who knows ....